When we think about behavior management in our programs, we may immediately focus on children who are not listening, following directions, breaking classroom rules, or exhibiting aggressive behaviors. However, how we think about challenging behaviors can make a big difference in how we support children in managing them. Let’s talk about supporting children in managing their behaviors.

Why Children Have Challenging Behaviors

There are several reasons children may struggle with different behaviors. A child’s temperament directly impacts how they respond and react to various situations. Other reasons children may experience challenging behaviors include family stressors, impacts of outside influences, low self-regulation, and unrealistic expectations. As we continue to support children as they learn about acceptable behavior, we must adjust our lens to see the ABCs of behavior.

What are the ABCS of Behavior?

The variables that affect behavior are the things that occur before and the things that happen after.

Therefore, the ABCs of Behavior are:

• A: The antecedent 
• B: The behavior
• C: The consequence

Many providers think of the consequence as something negative. However, in the world of behaviors, the consequence only refers to what happens after the behavior. For example, if a toddler cries and a provider comforts them, the child learns that crying brings comfort.

Supporting Children’s Behaviors through Guidance

Problem Solving Wheel for Preschoolers

Teachers can be proactive in supporting children in managing their behaviors by acknowledging and identifying children’s emotions, creating visual boundaries, and helping them with problem-solving through conversation.

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Remember Always to Respond Positively

Caregivers’ responses to children’s actions, expressions, and needs impact their development. In the beginning, as children are gaining an understanding of the world and people around them, every experience, positive or negative, adds to their knowledge and perception. 

Positive Ways to Respond 

When children experience strong behaviors, it’s important for educators to help children calm down. Until the child is calm, they will not be able to process through their choices. 

• Make a connection. Come close, get on the child’s level.
• Use a kind, pleasant tone of voice, a relaxed body posture, and facial expression when talking with the child. 
• Use positive nonverbal communication and body language. Children take cues about how they should feel from adults.
• Be patient while helping the child calm.
• Acknowledge the child’s feelings so they feel accepted and safe.
• Encourage deep breaths

Remember the 5 Criteria of Discipline

When we think about helping children manage their behaviors, remember the five criteria for a successful discipline approach:

1. Helps children feel a sense of connection, belonging and significance. We can support this by our establishment of a strong learning community. 
2. It is mutually respectful and encouraging (kind and firm at the same time). We can support this by helping children understand that mistakes happen. The boundaries then are in place to help everyone grow and learn safely.
3. It is effective long-term. We want to change the behavior, so we want to help them make the connection between the boundary, the emotions, and the consequences of behaviors. We know this doesn’t happen through physical punishment or timeout but instead through a child’s thinking and decision for themselves.
4. Teaches essential social skills and life skills (respect, concern for others, problem-solving, cooperation, and the skills to contribute to the home, school, or larger community).
5. Invites children to discover how capable they are (encourages constructive use of personal power and autonomy). We want children to own their behaviors and realize they have power over themselves.

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Kathy Banks, EdD. Early Childhood Education

Kathy Banks, Professional Development Lead for brightwheel, has 36 years of early childhood education experience. She has held various positions, including teacher, director, multi-site director, Head Start director, CCR&R, and QRIS Director. She currently adjuncts at several colleges and universities and continues to support and inspire educators through training and practical strategies. Kathy has her Ed.D. in Early Childhood Education and is a nationally certified Family and Consumer Science Developmental Educator. Her experience and education make her a scholarly expert in child development and the realities and challenges of teaching and directing every day.